From Worldly to Godly
I grew up in a family of devout Catholics. I was a choir girl and an active church member who attended Cathecisms and participated in global Christian activities like World Youth Day. I’ve had repressed memories of how two (2) Parish Priests made “advances” towards me. I had the impression that “God” is an angry, jealous God who punishes “disobedience” of his commandments and why is it that evil people are prosperous whereas good people often suffer? Where is God’s justice? I had observed the glaring hypocrisy of the Catholic Church i.e. it’s immense ownership of wealth vis-a-vis a majority of its people being impoverished, the Catholic Priests around the world being involved in sexual controversies, a lot of “church-goers” do not practise what they preach, and how everything about the religion are highly-performative shrouded in pomp and pageantry. I stopped going to Church at 19.
I was a non-practising Catholic and a lukewarm Christian for almost 21 years. I convinced myself that having a “direct” relationship with God without the fake “ceremony” of the Catholic Church and that saying “prayers to talk to Him” was enough. Everytime I would survive through trials and tribulations, I would thank God as a default but I fell short in recognizing his Hand of Strength, all the while congratulating myself on how I was able to endure and remain resilient throughout my suffering. I was a sinner the entire time and yet God continued to bless me with His Grace.
From Sinner to Saved! I repeatedly broke all of God’s 10 commandments. I was selfish and prideful. I had an emptiness within that I was seeking to fill and I did so with worldliness and satisfying the desires of the flesh, materialism, ego-driven success, achievement and recognition, occult divination and mysticism i.e. Satan’s world. I was tempted by the lying Snake, bit from the Apple of sin and was possessed by its demons from the seven nation army (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth). Still, I remained hollow.
I was a lost lamb with a long leash! I say that because somehow, I never strayed too far that I could no longer return and repent! I remained protected by God even when I distanced myself from him because of my shame as a sinner. Since 2018, I was on the long path to an “awakening”. I was seeking for “truth” in order to make sense of my life experiences. All the while I was seeking salvation from sin. By 2020, the world had become so demonic that those who have eyes to see and ears to hear can witness blatant evil being done by Satan and his minions and yet many remained zombified. It has become so obvious especially when the dark forces wanted dominion over our bodies i.e. vaccination mandates that pre-empts the “mark of the beast”. I chose to respect the body that God gave me by fighting this tyranny and not taking the jab, even if it means there are “comforts” that I have to forego, then give them all up I shall for the sake of my soul.
All human struggles, suffering, sorrow and strife are because of sin, the ones we ourselves commit and those committed against us. It is a seemingly never-ending cycle of sin that can only be broken by forgiveness — forgive ourselves and forgive others, the way that God forgives us sinners through the blood of His only begotten Son; AND repentance by recognising that Jesus Christ sacrificed His life for humanity’s salvation!
The biggest proof of God’s Love for us, His children, is the incarnation of Jesus Christ who is the embodiment of Him. Jesus Christ is God IN THE FLESH. He lived like us! He lived the Human experience — with the full spectrum of senses and feelings, the depth and breathd of intellect and emotions — to learn, to teach, to fight the urges of the flesh, to hurt, to bleed, to be mocked and betrayed, and to love, unconditionally. To live through life while being fully aware of how it will all happen and how life would end for Him; what He will go through, how He will die and when exactly! God’s Power is such that He made an EXAMPLE OF HIMSELF through an ultimate sacrifice of his own Human Life to prove that when God says, “I am with You.” to His human children, He really means it.
Jesus Christ is my primary example of who any human should aspire to be — no coach, guru, mentor or shaman can ever be like Him. There is no substitute. I will fight for Him, the way He fought for me. I will carry my Cross in this life with honour and dignity, and make sacrifices in His Name.
I have now awakened on the path to a Christian Revival. Jesus Christ has always been with me and yet I placed Him in a supporting role, instead of being at the center of my God-given life, such is my hubris. God is all-knowing and so when I was soul-tired and needed peace, all I had to say was, “I need you Jesus.” Jesus Christ was patiently waiting for me to say sorry for all my sins so he could envelope me in the warmth of his forgiveness. He gave me comfort. He saved me from myself. God shone a light on my darkness so I can now walk my path clearly with Jesus Christ holding my hand. I will never let go.
