I’ve always wanted to have pets: A dog that is busakawa (ugly/cute in Japanese) like a Bulldog, and name it Vito Corleone because of how Marlon Brando looked in The Godfather where he had a Bulldog look about him with his pronounced, protruding jaw. I also dream to have a majestic red-orange Akita Inu and name it Kurama (That’s the name of Naruto’s nine-tailed beast) because that northern Japanese dog breed looks like an overgrown fox that is as clever as a cat with the loyalty of a dog! And oh yeah, I won’t mind having a black cat that I’d name Bastet (the name of the Egyptian Goddess of Fertility) just because I sense cats are lucky.
But I can’t have those right now. My professional life consists of a lot of traveling and my days are as filled as it is that I feel it would be selfish to have those pets but then not give them enough attention or leave them behind for long periods of time.
It is with the same subconscious thought I can sense that I can’t be in a relationship right now. I have a feeling that something big is about to happen in my life of service to humanity especially in the next 2 years at the very least. It would require tremendous energy to undertake at the cost of my personal relationships that now is not the time for that.
I know myself and how devoted I can get. If I am to be with the one I love now, I will be all about making the one I love happy at the cost of my own. I would forego my dreams to support his and I won’t be able to fulfill what I incarnated in this lifetime for.
I know who I love. I know he knows he loves me too. It is the kind that is not said but felt. It is a quantum entanglement that exists in multi-verses. In this universe, he fits in my destiny to reach a professional peak without the guilt of abandonment by either one of us because we won’t demand anything from each other. We are just there when we want to be there for each other. Love doesn’t bind, it liberates!
You can love someone and not be with them. You say, “I just wanna love you. My love is here if you want it, and if you don’t want it, it won’t cease to exist. It’s for you.” That is God’s love. It is how I LOVE.