10 years ago, I learned I was an INTJ after taking 3 different MBTI tests online in 4 month intervals. I have to admit, I was skeptical about Jung’s Typology because I’m aware of how our brain (cognitive biases) traps us into aligning our existing models, relating it to information and finding a connection (when there can possibly be none). I was open to the idea that our behavior may be connected to our cognitive processes and that the typology has been used since before I was born but I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of being “typed”. I decided to not assimilate it and went about being.
At 37, I took it again and I still got INTJ. Does that mean I’m consistent? Does that mean the test is sound? I now have sufficient data from all the experiences,interactions and relationships I’ve had; decisions I’ve made and their results; ideas and concepts that form my “operational system”; and how I view the world and the human race, to answer“Yes, with reservations” to both questions (I’ll only be able to give an “unequivocal yes”, if at all, on my death bed).
If you’re an INTJ female(or you’re reading this because you’re attracted to one), I think that you’ll be able to identify (in varying degrees) to a lot of what you are to read (albeit subjective). INTJ females:
Are Achievers.
Nature and nurture aside, academics was (almost) effortless (for most of us). We enjoy learning through reading, observing, thinking and applying. We absorb information and when something catches our fancy, we focus (to the point of obsession) to find out what makes it work. Achievement is a by-product of our voracious learning capacity.
High performance is a default and is regulated by failure.
Are Competitive
Whether we care to admit it or not, we are. But really, we are competitive with the high-standards we set for ourselves and competing with others is collateral. We often tell ourselves, that what others can do, we can do too but differently. Most of us are experiential learners with a reasonably healthy appetite for risk and always looking for opportunities to suffer.
Are Confident
We don’t know everything but we are confident about what we do know. We are often mistaken to be arrogant. Most people are not aware that if we are confronted with something we don’t know, we will put effort in understanding it. We are not afraid to be wrong as long as we are convinced with facts. If we are mistaken about something, we will remember that and learn more about it. We respect people who are not afraid to correct us and who we learn something from.
Are Intellectually Curious
Often people would ask us why it seems we are always “challenging ideas” to the point of being “argumentative”. The quality of the answers to questions that we ask gives us an idea of something (or someone) and how we will proceed.
Some people think that we like “testing” other people (I admit to this, it’s my filter mechanism). It is our way of gauging value. (READ: Jax-of-all-Trade)
Are Direct
We are blunt to the point that we are accused of being insensitive. We hate sugar-coating; playing games; and beating around the bush. We’d rather cut through the BS because it’s a waste of time. Honesty is efficient. Objectivity is effective. That’s why most of us hate politics and value meritocracy.
Conserve Time and Energy
We value our “alone” time very much. We are satisfied being by ourselves because we fill our time doing what we like doing (whatever that is, we’re individualistic). We give maximum effort on the things that matter to us and optimal minimum on everything else. Small talk doesn’t interest us. Superficiality bores us. We value time and when given means something (or someone) is important.
We have our internal structure (a mental model) that works for us that we apply on such things as routines and habits. It is not inflexibility but rather, it optimizes our processing capacity and frees our brain to focus on new information (READ: Control: A Subjective Experience)
At Work
We value autonomy and prefer working alone. Though we can work in a group, we often find that after everyone else has given their output, we end up overhauling the entire thing. All the while we are irked with the time and effort wasted.
We are non-conformists and dislike rules that stifle intellect and creativity.
We don’t like being micromanaged so we never do that. We always think that as long as we achieve the end-goal, we will do whatever it takes.
We can be outspoken about our thoughts on how to improve a system or a process that we deem inefficient and ineffective. And we do so only when we already have a strategy/solution in place.
We like staying in our own space (whether at the office or our own corner somewhere); do our own thing; deliver or exceed what is expected of us; and not care about what other people think.
Most of us who work in a corporate setting die a little inside everyday until one day, we decide we’ve had enough and decide to work for ourselves.
On Authority
People in authority never intimidate us. We have a clear definition of the attributes of the person who deserves our respect, and simply being a “person in position” is not enough to get it.
Aren’t Feminine
We’re even thought of as masculine! We are independent, assertive, proactive, internally motivated, driven and decisive. We respect those qualities in a person that we become that person.
Are Selective with Friends
We have very few true friends. Most of the time, more male friends than female friends. Our friends are not aware that they passed our internal vetting process that was undertaken over a period of time. We are fiercely loyal and give our time willingly to them. When it comes to friendship, we appreciate reciprocity but don’t expect it.
On Serious Relationships
We long for a life partner. We prefer not to “date around”. Sometimes we experiment and try doing something different only to be sorely disappointed.
Most of us have been tested by life or have observed how other people’s lives were affected by the partner that they chose that it is hard to trust and we remain guarded. Combine that with being a serial over-thinker, we end up choosing to be single and loving someone from afar (Those who are now with their life partners have their men to thank for being ballsy enough to woo them!).
“Complex”
It is not a surprise, that INTJ females are not popular with womankind. We can’t relate to the vapid and insipid group-think and the overly-emotional response to situations. We refuse to “dumb ourselves down” to be part of the collective.
A man looking for a “complex” woman should look no further than an INTJ.
